TOMORROW IS THE DAY!

I am beginning my weight loss journey tomorrow.

I have started this journey many times. Lots of times. I have not succeeded.

Yesterday I went to the doctor for a UTI. They insisted on weighing me. I was over 200 lbs!!! What? How could that be? I knew that my clothes were getting snug, but come on, 10 lbs put on in less than two months!? I don't understand!?

Today I went to the mall. My shirt was baggy and my pants were too tight. I was so self-conscious the WHOLE time. When you are big, every person seems like they are skinny. Women who had just popped out babies, were sporting size 0 jeans. I don't even know when I last wore a zero and they just popped out a baby!? You have got to be kidding me?

I do not feel THAT fat, but the BMI charts say that I am "obese." How did this happen? I have to get it under control. I want to live long enough to see my grandchildren. I want to dance with my children without my body jiggling like jello. I want to hold onto the seat of my daughter's bike and teach her how to ride it without training wheels, preferrably without getting winded in the first two feet.

I HAVE TO DO THIS!!!

I HAVE TO SAVE MYSELF!!!!

I HAVE TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE!!!

I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of the emotional impact this has had on me! I am so tired everyday from thinking about being fat. I want to lose enough weight to be healthy!

I am starting this journey! I can do it! I will do it! I will wear a bathing suit and shorts this summer!!! I will go to the beach and sport a fit body!

Let's get this party started!!!

WEEK ONE GOALS:

Lose 5 lbs
Drink 100oz of water per day
No more soda

Baby steps. I can do this!

Not quite a memory, but just a random blog

Tonight I kissed my children goodnight. I kissed their heads gently and softly whispered, "I love you." I caressed their baby soft faces and soaked in the moment.

Ohhhh, how I love these children! They are my everything!

They have been testing the waters lately. Having a bit of sibling rivalry. Talking back just a little bit more. Trying to see what our reactions might be. We are frustrated. We are trying to be patient. We are trying to be consistent. But, oh is it ever hard, challenging and frustrating.

We love these children with all of our hearts and we are trying to train them to go out into the world. We want them to be good citizens. We want them to be respectful. We want them to love, to care and to be thoughtful.

"Dear Lord, please help us get through this trying time. Help us to train our children in the way that they should go. Guide us. Teach us. Give us patience."

Tonight I kissed my children goodnight and thanked the Lord for another wonderful day!

A Walk to Remember

For as long as I can remember, I have had an impeccable memory. I can remember even the smallest details of special events, days that truly impacted me and days that I would like to forget.

Here I will share memories of my childhood. Memories that have made me who I am. Memories that will be forever with me. I realize that we must not dwell on the past, but memories are what I live for. Memories are what I am creating everyday for my family. How I live my life to day, will forever be imbedded into my own children's memories. How I lived yesterday, is how I became who I am today.

Please bear with me, as not everything will make sense or be grammatically correct. The point is to share these stories with my family, so that one day they can share them with their own children.